A gift that keeps on giving

Today I finally consented to learning how to wipe my own butt. I have been resisting because I know the evil that lurks there. Now I regret opening my other end a few days ago. Let me explain the connection between both ends of my alimentary canal.When we were travelling home in the car the other day, I asked papa how far away Christmas was. I was told that it was about three months away. Three months!Papa said that we would have to get mama a really good present (her birthday is on Christmas eve) or else we could forget about celebrating Christmas altogether. So he asked me what we should get for mama.Before I could suggest LEGO or Thomas or Cars movie merchandise, papa said he had thought of the perfect gift. He said that I should learn how to wipe my butt before Christmas.Eww! Am I supposed to give mama the used toilet paper as a present?Little Wiper Isaac

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